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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25436368">bleed me dry (and show me how to live)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardustgirl/pseuds/stardustgirl'>stardustgirl</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>you breathe like your lungs aren't full of matches [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: The Last Airbender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(and the breaking out thereof), (as is canon), (kind of?????), (lowkey but its There), (only this time he actually does), (this IS zuko were talking about after all), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - No Bending (Avatar TV), Angst, Bloodbending (Avatar), Fire Nation Lore (Avatar), Firebending &amp; Firebenders, Implied/Referenced Torture, Loss of Bending Ability, Prison, Self-Hatred, Water Tribe Lore (Avatar), Waterbending &amp; Waterbenders, Zuko (Avatar) Angst, Zuko (Avatar) Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Zuko tries to join the gaang, basically in essence, but he basically gets told to get lost, but its not really a given either way ahaa, hopefully, this was written in a weird style oops but hopefully it works, will i ever add onto this? who knows, zuko says "kriff agni"</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:07:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,117</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25436368</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardustgirl/pseuds/stardustgirl</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Zuko doesn't stick around the Western Air Temple.  Instead, he does what they've been wanting him to do the last several months, and leaves.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hama &amp; Zuko (Avatar)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>you breathe like your lungs aren't full of matches [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1842490</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>374</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>bleed me dry (and show me how to live)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>ok ok so theres like. a very vague plot to this? but basically uhhhh when zuko got told by the gaang to leave he actually did for real this time so uh y e a h its great (spoiler its not)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Zuko’s an expert at breaking into prisons.</p><p>He broke into Pohuai Stronghold to get Aang out, he broke into Lake Laogai to get Appa out, and he even broke into the royal palace’s own dungeons to break Uncle out—not that Uncle had been there to begin with, but it’s still half a point.  And now, he’s about to break into a prison—once again to break someone out—only this time, he’s genuinely not sure he’ll be able to <em> make </em>it out.</p><p>But he does it anyway.</p><p>He doesn’t have the mask anymore, so he merely pulls on dark clothes, tugging a mask over his face and hoping it is enough to at least sow doubt as to his identity.  And then he starts toward the prison.</p><p>He crouches on the roof as the sun sets, watching the colors bleed into each other.  He exhales slowly, letting his emotions out in time with the flames flickering on the distant posts, acting as cautious reminders of the Fire Nation’s power.  Of the power Agni himself gives his children.</p><p>Zuko stays on the roof until Agni and his familiar rays of warmth are gone, until the fire boiling in his blood turns to a simmer.  And then, he goes into the prison.</p><p>He finds the bender easily enough, and breaks down her doors easier still.  They’re meant to keep her <em> in, </em> not him <em> out. </em></p><p>He prostrates himself before her on the ground.  “I have come to ask a favor,” he whispers, his voice loud in the silence that brims with unspoken things.</p><p>“A <em> firebender, </em> asking a <em> favor?</em>” she hisses, voice hoarse.  He risks a glance up to see her eyes flashing in the light reflected off of his dao swords.</p><p>“I don’t want to bend anymore.”</p><p>The silence stretches on, and Zuko feels his confidence waning.  Finally, the woman <em> laughs.</em>  It’s a harsh, brittle sound, more like the mocking call of a blue jay.  Her cackle fades, however, when he doesn’t react.</p><p>“You’re serious then, aren’t you?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>She hums.  “And what would I get in exchange for this...favor?”</p><p>“I will bring water to you.”</p><p>“Allowing me to escape, then?”</p><p>“You can do with it what you will,” he says.  “I only ask that you don’t hurt innocent people.”</p><p>She cackles again.  “You have already brought me all the water I need, boy,” she says, eyes glinting again.  “Your blood.”</p><p>“You can use me to escape immediately, or you can take my bending, thus ridding the world of another firebender, <em> and </em>I will help you to escape afterwards.”</p><p>She hums again before finally blinking decisively.  “Tui is not yet risen.  When she is, you have my word.”  He nods in return.</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>And then he settles back onto his heels to wait.</p><p>He can feel the full moon’s rise, feel it through the fire in his blood hissing and sputtering as it tries to fight back.  It’s slow, though, and so he and the woman are left in an uncertain silence.  She breaks it at long last, asking, “What has a child of Agni realized that would make him hate his <em> gift </em> so?”  She spits the word <em> gift </em>as if it’s a curse, but he doesn’t mind.  He’s seen it as that often enough himself.  His rejection by the Avatar’s group is only the most recent reason for him to hate it.</p><p>“What has a child of Tui gone through that would make her twist her abilities so?” he counters.</p><p>She laughs, the sound just as empty as the other times.  “Only what your own people have done to me.  Water <em> flows. </em>It changes, it <em> adapts. </em> It will not harm its children, only protect, even in their most desperate hour.  Water will always find a way.  But can fire say the same?”</p><p><em> “You will learn </em> respect, <em> and </em> suffering <em> will be your teacher.” </em></p><p>“No, it can’t,” he says.</p><p>“Wiser than most of your people, I see.  Very well.  You have garnered my attention this long, so tell me again why you wish to abandon your god.”</p><p>“Fire has never done me any favors,” Zuko spits.  The words feel like venom on his tongue, but they are true, and he knows they are.  “I found myself when I shunned Agni, and when I tried to embrace him once more, <em> I </em>was shunned.  There is no god for me here, none that deserves my fealty if he will only cast me aside as a pawn in favor of...of my sister.”</p><p>She hums, blinking slowly.  “And your scar?”</p><p>Zuko looks away.  “Agni’s fault, too.”</p><p>She smiles.</p><p>And Tui rises all the way.</p><p>He frees her hands and kneels, bowing his head.  The last thing the fire in his veins sees is her faint smirk as she crooks gnarled fingers toward him.</p><p>Her thumb presses into his temple, and he can feel everything <em> freeze. </em></p><p>And then, gradual as the sanity and light slipping from his sister’s eyes yet swift as Father’s lightning crackling down toward him, the fire leaves his veins.</p><p>He collapses onto his side, but soon feels his blood—no longer boiling; it feels frozen over more than anything now—churning, winding its way through his veins in a way that’s anything <em> but </em>natural and he’s getting to his feet, moving mechanically toward the woman and now he’s picking the locks of her restraints with a long metal rod he’s not sure of the origin of—</p><p>The woman falls forward, one hand still outstretched while the other claws into Zuko’s shoulder to brace herself.  She sways for a moment before finally letting go, lowering her bending arm as well.</p><p>Zuko collapses, dry heaving immediately.  When he finally has the presence of mind to prop himself up onto his elbows, he turns to see the woman lingering in the entryway.</p><p>“Thank you, child of Agni,” she says, smiling.  It seems sincere, for the first time tonight.  “If I were you, I would leave before they recover from my attack.”</p><p>She leaves, vanishing into the darkness like a spirit.</p><p>And Zuko….</p><p>Zuko feels empty, hollow, without his fire thrumming in time with his pulse.</p><p>Swallowing shakily, he braces his hands against the ground, and pushes himself up.  He forces himself to his feet, and he staggers out of the prison cell.</p><p>Somehow, he manages to make it to a forest, though he’s not sure when exactly he leaves the prison.  He can’t sleep, so he allows himself to stare blankly at the fragments of sky visible through the canopy, trying to distract himself from the distant screams he can hear as the blood from others’ bodies is churned and twisted.</p><p>When the sun rises—when <em> Agni </em>rises—he hardly notices.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I have a feeling I'll continue this in another oneshot which is why I made a series, but I have no clue when oops.  (And yes I'm still working on I'm a Fool with a Crush lol.)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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